Anyone wanting to experience householder life, thinking it is a place for pleasure, may be in for a shock. I believe it is a great training ground. When we are living with, and having to share everything, we can learn many good qualities.

The responsibility of maintaining a family is huge, and in this environment one can learn tolerance, patience, compassion, unselfishness, how to manage finances, and how to love.

A devotee once shared with me, that when he was a brahmacari (celibate monk) and expressed his interest in temple management, his spiritual master suggested he marry first, because unless he could manage a family, how could he manage a temple.

Many devotees are working in jobs for eight hours or more every day to maintain their homes and children. Apart from trying to chant 16 rounds, read, and attend the temple programmes, they have their daily chores of cooking, cleaning, mowing, gardening, driving children to school and activities, and caring for other family members. Many grhastas are also doing temple service or holding home programmes.

Because of their ability to work and earn money, householders donate and use their contacts to help the temple. Their experience, in the work place and in business, is a great asset to the temple and other devotees.

During a recent festival I happened to be passing one of the units on the farm where the devotees live, and while everyone was enjoying the festivities, I spied Dina Bandhu sitting at the steps to his home. He was in uniform preparing to leave for the evening shift of his job. He looked a sad figure. His little daughter dressed in her festival clothes played around him as he tied his boot laces. He affectionately said good bye and left for work.

My heart filled with pride and appreciation to see such a devoted father and husband undergoing such austerity to feed and protect his family. I am sure he would have preferred to be at the festival with all the devotees and his family. When I commented and praised him for his service to his family, he smiled shyly, saluted, and went off to work like a warrior going to war.

Ask any mother, who has a child that is teething, and has been up half the night crying, whether she is enjoying and fired up to get to Mangala Arati. I’m sure she would love to, but doesn’t have the energy to lift her head off the pillow at 4 a.m., when the baby has finally settled for a little while. Enjoying? I don’t think so.

Srila Prabhupada said:

Arjuna was a householder and a military general, and therefore it was better for him to remain as such and perform his religious duties as prescribed for the householder ksatriya. Such activities gradually cleanse the heart of a mundane man and free him from material contamination.

BG 3.8